Dear Abby: My fiancee’s mother is a burden despite giving us an inherited house

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I have been together for 14 years. A few months ago, his mother told us that she had inherited a house that belonged to her parents and she wanted to give it away that for us. I was skeptical because every gift from her comes with tons of strings attached.

We were told it would take a few months to get the paperwork in order, so in the meantime, could we help maintain the property until we move in? We agreed, but she dictates the day and time. My fiance and I have two days off every week. In one of them, we are together, and in the other we are not. We planned it that way.

Well, since he’s been helping with maintenance, my fiance’s mom insists it be done on our day off. She says it’s because her husband is out too. Am I wrong to be upset that my fiance chooses to do maintenance on “our” day off vs. his day off? This has been consistent for the last three or four weeks.

I called his mom and asked if he could come alone on his day off. Her response was, “Oh well, you’ll be here soon, and he can do it anytime,” but she also said that her husband would still come to help, which makes me think that be something I will deal with forever. . Any tips? – FAR ASSEMBLY TO THE SOUTH

DEAR STRINGS: Grit your teeth, count your blessings and accept reality. It won’t last forever, and in the end, you’ll be richer for it.

DEAR ABBY: I am 49 and recently divorced and had to stay with my mother for months during the divorce. During this time, she has made me a budget, opens my mail and treats me like I’m 5 years old. She has done this my whole life. I have severe anxiety and she is part of it. For some reason, I can’t tell her to back off. Do you have any suggestions? – NOW GROWN IN FLORIDA

DEAR GROW UP NOW: Yes, I certainly do. If you still live with your mother, move as soon as possible or send your mail to a post office box. Because you suffer from severe anxiety, consult a therapist who can help you control it, as well as give you the tools to deal with your possibly well-intentioned but overbearing mother. Then talk and tell her how you feel.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter lives nearby. I am blessed to spend a lot of time with her boys. We decided that gifts for them (as much as possible) should be experiences. We’ve gone to children’s museums, gone snow tubing, and hired a fishing guide. We’ve also visited a bookstore to browse for hours before picking up books, and we’ve taken them on dinner and lunch dates, special summer picnics, and outings.

I think my grandchildren will remember the times spent together much more than the toys that break, get lost or grow. What do you think? – MORE GIVEAWAYS IN COLORADO

LOVELY GIFT: I don’t just “think”, I i know you are right. The shared experiences they have with you are priceless.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.